Man, it’s been a while since I posted. Okay, so 13 months.

Mostly I haven’t known what to post. Since going Keto last year, we mostly cook at home. And my husband does most of the cooking. I cook other people’s recipes, because I still need recipes. I am very envious of people who can *create* recipes.

On January 20, 2013 my husband and I completely turned our lifestyles upside down and went low carb. Miss Bread and Mac and Cheese and Movie Theater Butter Microwave Popcorn and Dunkin Donuts blueberry cake donuts addict gave it all up. Not without a fight, though. I had a very hard struggle with it. Yep. Big fat cheater. Honestly? I still struggle with cravings on an almost daily basis. I think I’d sell my soul for an Utz Sourdough Hard Pretzel right now.

So why do it? Well, that is kind of a long story.

I got married on February 17, 2008. Happiest day of my life. I’m one of the lucky ones to be with my soul mate.

Between 2008 and 2013 I put on 50 pounds. We had two miscarriages within 6 months (I don’t think I’ve gotten over that, to this day). The first one was so hard. We had only just learned we were expecting. We went for a sonogram and learned that I should have been 10 weeks along but the baby had died at 6 weeks. They called it a missed miscarriage. I called it heartbreak. I called it self-blame. To this day I still figure it was *somehow* my fault. It’s been 4 years or so. My mother-in-law, the nurse, called it possible Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I was kind of a psycho with my mood swings, even before the miscarriages. I was stressed out all the time. Over nothing. Over everything. I’d been on depression meds. I’d been suicidally depressed on Chantix trying to quit smoking (to it’s credit, Chantix did kill my desire to smoke. But I also had an intense desire to drive my car off the road or slit my wrists). I’d tried Weight Watchers and eating homemade foods and just kept getting more fat and depressed. And I was so damned tired all the time I wouldn’t remember my drive to the Metro or my drive home from the Metro. I’d just suddenly be at the Metro and at night I’d suddenly be home. My husband and I would have horrible fights. We would be so purposefully nasty to each other. A couple of times I got in my car and just drove off, crying. I’d turn my phone off so he wouldn’t know where I was. Once? I even had a bag pack, very sure I was gone for good this time. Pretty sure only God knows how I am still married.

After struggling with my weight and potential fertility issues, I looked up PCOS. The symptoms were kind of a match…I should get tested, right? Well. I kind of have this thing with going to see a Doctor. I don’t really like it. So I looked up treatments. The majority of the results I came up with? Avoid soy and go low carb. Well, hell! If I can fix myself with my diet let’s give it a go, right?! I gave up bread and pasta and other favorite foods. Not all of it. I was still eating yogurt and drinking orange juice…it’s been a while so I don’t remember how far I went with it. For about 2 weeks. And lost 5 pounds. Sure, looking back I know that was water weight. But. That was more than I lost in 2.5 months on Weight Watchers. That was hope.

Around the time I was eating my first burgers with a knife and fork and no bun, my husband was apparently doing his research. And he found Keto. And he approached me with it. And I was skeptical. Because it goes against *everything* we were taught growing up in the 80s. But I trust him. I trust him inherently. We could get seriously nasty and fight and be horrible to each other, but deep down? We totally and completely love each other. I know deep in my heart that he would never intentionally harm me. So despite my doubts I trusted him enough to go full-on low carb. Cleaned out the pantry, donated what I could, gave the rest to friends and family.

Skip forward a little over a year? The 50 pounds? Gone. In 10 months. Exercise? I took up running. Me. The exercise-induced asthmatic. Running. My moods? Pretty even. Stress? Rare. Anger? Pretty rare. Fights with the husband? Keto helped his moods too, so…we don’t fight. Depression? Gone. Suicidal tendencies? Gone. I sleep better, I have more energy, and I am happy. I am maintaining my weight without tracking every bite of food that goes into my mouth. Still no kids, unfortunately. We’re hopeful, though. I do plan to talk to my doctor about it. I’m much healthier than I was a year ago, so maybe it’s something else.

I feel the need to say something else. I can’t say this is absolutely right for everyone. The human body is so complex there is no way I can say one diet/lifestyle is going to work for everyone. But this lifestyle works for me. I *feel* better. I *look* better. It works for me. It works for my husband. It can work for others like us.

Am I back on the blog? I want to be. Maybe it’ll help someone like me.

{March 5, 2014}